I'm fucking insane, but my intentions are gold and my heart is pure

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  • midnight-bleue:

    "It’s better to have nobody than someone who is half there, or who doesn’t want to be there."
    Angelina Jolie  (via poppyandpine)

    + 31966


    "It made me wonder how many times we forgive just because we don’t want to lose someone, even if they don’t deserve our forgiveness."
    Deb Caletti, Honey, Baby, Sweetheart (via soulsscrawl)

    + 47370


I promise. You lived today. You survived. Well done.



A Seeing Eye Dog on his first day

he knows he’s gonna do such a good job

    You are five years old,
    and your knees ache
    from kneeling on the
    cold floor of the church,
    and the teachers tell you
    not to complain because
    Jesus suffered with nails
    driven into his hands and feet,
    and your pain is nothing
    compared to that.
    You run your hand along the wood
    of the pew and catch a splinter
    in your finger, and you smile
    because it hurts, oh God, it hurts,
    but now you’re closer to the man on
    the cross, now you are experiencing
    more pain like he did.
    You leave blood on the church floor,
    and your knees creak when you stand.

    You are seven years old,
    and they are telling you
    that you were born into sin,
    that there is an ugliness to
    your soul that you cannot
    scrub away.
    They tell you to confess your sins
    to a man acting as God,
    even though you are a child
    and the most wrong you have ever
    done is forgetting to pick up your books
    from the kitchen floor.
    You tell God this, and a priest laughs
    and says that your sins are washed away.
    Your mother tells you that you are clean now,
    but you do not remember
    feeling dirty in the first place.
    They put a gold cross around your neck,
    and it’s the prettiest thing you own.

    You are twelve years old,
    and you pray because
    you are a good girl
    and you think that your
    father will smile again if
    you ask.
    He does not, and you try
    to cover your bruised knees.

    You are fourteen years old,
    and you ask questions in class
    because all the lessons and Bible verses
    have stopped adding up and you don’t understand
    how God could always love you, but still let you burn.
    Your teacher tells you to read it all again.
    The cross around your neck feels heavy.

    You are fifteen years old,
    and there is something dark inside of you,
    something that lives in your bones
    and makes you feel like you are drowning,
    makes you feel like there is no escape.
    You still pray, let some desperate plea
    claw its way from your throat as you wait
    for salvation to end the pain,
    for God to take it all away.
    You turn your skin into a lattice;
    you stop praying eventually.

    You are sixteen,
    and you arrange two cigarettes
    into a cross, and the boy lying
    beside you tells you that he never took
    you as the religious type.
    You kiss him, and he tastes
    like communion wine and nicotine.
    You pretend that you feel whole,
    that you aren’t spilling out of your seams.
    You tell your father that you don’t think
    you believe in what you hear at church
    anymore, and he says that he doesn’t
    know how he raised so weak a daughter.
    You do not tell him that you still dream
    of sleeping forever.

    You are seventeen years old,
    and you believe in yourself.
    You believe in the universe pulsing
    beneath your skin.
    You believe that salvation comes
    from your own two hands.
    You feel complete,
    and your knees have stopped creaking.

    Emily Palermo, I Used to Wear a Cross Around My Neck (via starredsoul)

    + 1277



    May you have enough money to pay your bills this month with a little extra left over for a bit of fun.

    This is one of the nicest things to wish for someone

    + 176982